2005 was a good year hanging out with friends no curfew and little parental guidance I thought to myself on a daily this is a good life. I was so young and naive. Only time I went home is when I needed money for activities that me and my friends were getting into. At night my life haunted me, I was a high school drop out and I barely had a place to stay between my mom and daddy it’s wasn’t much stability, guidance, or a rules. So I lived my life as I thought it should be, until one day I missed my cycle I wondered myself to death so I finally went to a free clinic so naive at the time I didn’t know what the lady was telling me when she said “feel out your Medicaid papers” after I took the test so I left unsure if I was pregnant or not! Then 3 months later I can’t remember why my best friend mom figured I was pregnant she started rubbing my stomach and all I remember her saying was I hope this baby isn’t dead. She went down to the nearest dollar store and bought me a test I remember the first drop off pee hit the stick and it’s like the test immediately changed to positive. She said “you are further along than you think” She drove me to my mom’s house and told her the news as I stayed outside not afraid to get in trouble but afraid of not having anyone or anything. I thought to myself “what the fuck am I going to do” I went to my room and cried the first thing my mom suggested was an abortion! I thought, NO!! I don’t wanna be a baby killer I might as well bring it into the world and give it more than I ever had. I didn’t know what that meant because no one ever went out their way for me but I knew what I wanted it to feel like! I most definitely knew that my child would feel all the love.
I struggled financially, emotionally, spiritually, and wanted to give up so many times. I had to grow up faster which was ok! I let all my friends go seeming how I had real responsibilities. I got my first job at 16 making 5.50 an hour. I remember having $80 paychecks, but, back in the day that was a lot of money (omg I feel so old) I made it work I got my own place at 17 didn’t know anything about electricity all I knew was when I moved in I had lights, I figured that electricity was paid with rent so it’s easy for me to say we had a couple months in the dark. Until I got a better job, I remember sleeping on the floor with blankets and not to mention my floors were hardwood! boy, i’m glad I can laugh at them days with gratefulness in my heart! words can’t explain the lessons that I learned the strength that I’ve gained and the love that continued to grow for my son.
My son is now 13 years old, he is such a big help. He loves sports and loves to talk! he is such a people person. I am so proud of him and I look at everything we’ve been through and realize that it was all worth it. I am now married with 3 additional children. I have 2 boys (13, 7) 2 girls (5,3) I can honestly say my family is done. I met my husband when my oldest son was 2 years old and we been together every since. 10 years in total, married for 4 years! who would have ever thought! not me, God has his way of showing out!
My Advice to all teenage mothers
there is no need to fear! you are going to make a decision that best fit you and your child! and that’s ok! rather if its adoption, abortion, or keeping and raising the child it’s not all going to be easy but it’ll be worth it if you decide to go through with the pregnancy and if so put your all in your child! I wanted to give up so many times now I can’t think of any other thing I want to do besides be a parent! I have love for all teen moms especially the ones who take full responsibility and change their lifestyle to better fit their child!